252

It’s May 2018 and I wrote ‘252’ in 2007. Since then I have continued to research and write. I have expanded my practice through Ayurveda, Yoga, Reiki, Vipassana Meditation, and working with the cyclic recovery from addiction process. But we all need a base to learn from and the following still holds true for the clients I help self-educate today. Maybe something will ring true for you…Namaste’

252

BY

Shaman Melodie McBride

In 2001 my weight was 252 pounds. My Insulin resistance was severe; I had a crippling degenerative disease, and was told if I didn't make a drastic change in my life my body would die. 

I proceeded to ask why, why me? I was handling this alone because I had pushed those who cared about me completely away. People who loved me were suffering with me. The helplessness they must have felt. They had all attempted to help me without completely enabling me. Oh I had people I manipulated into enabling me also. I was angry. 252 pounds.

At this point my thinking wasn't that clear because when you are that sick you can't think or finish a sentence or remember a reference. I didn't realize my body was full of toxins, poisons, bad insulin that was flooding my body every time I tried to eat. The heat bothered me, I had boils high on my inner thighs that had to be lanced on a regular basis, and soon walking became everything I could do. 

One afternoon I tried to make it up the two stairs on my front porch and fell, my body failing me, as I was raking my face on the lava rock on the front of the house. It was all in slow motion. My arms wouldn't catch me. To this day it is as clear in my mind as the moment it happened and I know I will never forget. 252 pounds.

I knew I didn't love myself but I also knew I didn't want to die. Even though for years I had been slowly killing myself. I laughed at those people who were healthy because I was eating what I wanted and plenty of it.

Then, an acquaintance saw me one night, not a friend just someone I knew. He asked me if I was alright. Why? I asked. ‘Your face and skin is grey,’ he said. ‘You look like you're dying’. I turned and walked away not saying a word and went home. 

After three days of crying in the fetal position and asking the universe for help I decided to start my journey to wellness. 252 pounds

In the book of angel numbers 252 says; Stay filled with faith during this time of change. Be willing to release old patterns and to allow more light into your life. You are safe.

The first 30 pounds went fast because most everything I ate came right back up. The only things that would stay down were cucumbers and tomatoes. I don't know where the strength came from but it was there. It was getting more difficult, but I was not going to quit, 252 pounds.

In the next six months I gleaned what I could from Doctors and Nutritionists and had dropped 50 pounds more. Then I plateaued and everything stopped. I was exercising; eating what I thought was right, and taking my prescribed medication. What had I forgot? 

I decided to find out exactly what the medication was doing to my body and with my knowledge of herbs maybe replace the meds.

Also, having a degree in electronics I knew that everything in this universe has a frequency and I wanted to know mine. 252 pounds

So I started to pay attention to my body. What did it feel like 20 minutes after I ate? What did I feel like in the morning? After I exercised? Was I still having cold sweats in the night from my body trying to process bad insulin? I began at this time to also investigate supplements. Through my reading I discovered that unless I grew my own food and ate six times a day I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed. I found a good women's multivitamin and began there. Then I discovered that chromium helped with the glucose tolerance factor (GTF) for my insulin resistance (IR). It would help process any sugars I ate. I started feeling better and losing weight slowly again. 

Food was still an issue that I didn't really want to deal with. An issue? I thought, I'm making this emotional? Was I feeling deprived? Yes, and I had a love for food and it was not loving me back. My body that was as helpless as a child, and who depended on me to take care of it, was sick because I could not release that attachment, that justification that I deserved it, that blind trust in manufacturers that they cared about my self-preservation. What ah ha moment! 252 pounds.

Now I knew what I must do and I began to research food combinations. I knew that with the balance of the right food, supplements, emotional wellbeing, and spirit, wellness would be mine.

Once the physical goal was set in motion now came the emotional healing. The first thing I realized is that it was me making me the victim. Yes, I had abuse issues and it was me that was keeping hold of that dysfunction. I was the only one that could change that feeling and it had to start with forgiving me. If I didn't I'd be drug back into my old patterns, my old life, my own death. 

I began to like myself to treat myself with respect. I started to get rid of the dysfunction in my life and to realize once I did doors started opening for me. 

Did I still have bouts of anger? Of course and I had moments when I had to test the theory, usually with a piece of cheesecake. The outcome didn't ever change and I learned not consider it failure but another lesson learned in life.

I lost count of how many lessons I had but I know that research and studying became an avid part of my days and still is.

The personal growth was immense although I didn't see it at the time, we never do. One of the most interesting things that happened is my taste started to change. In food, in company, in environment, and in cloths. I will not wear sweat pants and baggy t-shirts to this day. 

Also, when my mind came back it came with a vengeance. For all the intuitive powers that I had suppressed from childhood opened up like a valve and flooded in and I resumed my Shaman studies again with absolute clarity. 

It was 2005 and I was co-starting a business and I had to take a before and after picture. It was then that I realized I was 127 pounds. I had still seen myself as the 252 pound woman who had been hiding from herself.

In the book of Angel numbers 127 says; Have faith that your continued affirmations and positive thinking are working! You're manifesting at an ever-higher level.

Now I was happy, healthy, and loving life once again. Yes, it's a miracle I'm still alive. If you had asked my family and friends about me those seven years ago they would have told you we'll be burying her soon. Maybe a part of me is buried, 125 pounds worth, but the rest of me is reborn and in love with the power of life and the kindness within. I know that I want to help people feel this way again and so I stand with you today to say you can.

I no longer take medication for my IR because my pancreas has healed itself. I rarely suffer from any pain or any sickness.

I enjoy being a woman. I enjoy being beautiful and I love LIFE again.

Today I want to help you help yourselves with education about balancing your body with mind and spirit.

So let me give you some quick easy affordable steps to help you get started.

The first thing to remember is that we are all students and teachers in this life so share what you learn, listen to those who practice what they say, and lead by example. The children and grandchildren are learning from you.

Next, don't take everything away from yourself at once. You're setting yourself up to fail and we love to fall back into old patterns. Don't let your old life drag you down. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were you. Take steps in building back your health.

Drink more water.

Give up your whites and fats first. White sugar spikes your blood sugar which causes your pancreas to produce insulin and if it's bad insulin you're going to crash hard and flood your system with poison. Buy stevia or unrefined cane sugar. Stay away from white flour products also they do the same things to you as white sugar because starches turn to sugars in your system. That also includes white potatoes, white rice, and bananas. Buy whole wheat bread, whole wheat tortillas, and brown, black or wild rice. Yams or sweet potatoes can replace your spuds. Remember corn, carrots, peas, berries, and fruits are natural sugars but still sugar and should be eaten with a white cheese or wheat bread.

Throw away that deep fat fryer. Have a party for no longer will you continue to clog your arteries and store fat in your body. Remember your body does not know what to do with that fat so it stores it every time.

The American heart association states that your arteries start to collect fat at the ripe old age of 7.

Cut down your portions. Your stomach is the size of your fist. Eat your meals on salad plates not serving platters. Cut down or out sodas they only expand your stomach.

When you are in the grocery store walk past the chips and cookie isle. Most stores do that intentionally. 

Remember what we enjoy in food is being manipulated by manufacturers. It is a money driven market, let's turn it back into a healthy food industry.

Supplements are your friends. They will help you raise your nutrient levels to where they should be. This will help you utilize your food better for more energy, aid in digestion, think more clearly, and handle stress better.

Get yourself a good multivitamin, preferably timed released, and as far above the recommended daily allowance (RDA) as you can get. The RDA was set to prevent scurvy and rickets in the 1950’s. 

If you are IR you need to be taking chromium pic, 200mg with each meal or better yet 500mg TR in the AM. Chromium GTF slows the spiking of blood sugars and keeps you from crashing and gaining more weight.

Now let's touch on your emotional attachment to food. Ask yourself why am I stuffing my face again? I like myself and want to stay healthy. Others people’s opinions are not my emotions. They do not control how I feel. They do not control my life. If they are angry it's because they cannot control my actions. I will not feed their dysfunction. I will feed my self-acceptance. I will love my self and treat myself with the respect I deserve. 

The mind is a powerful tool. You know how powerful it is because you use it every day. You put your body on ignore and say we have to do this or it won't get done or others will not do it correctly. Ask yourself who's going to do it when I have surgery? Who's going to do it while I'm having my chemo treatments, and who's going to do it when my body dies? Putting your body on ignore is giving disease permission to take hold. 

See yourself as you want to be and feel the emotion. Honor yourself by educating yourself.

Give yourself permission to love yourself. Let yourself be your passion.

There is not a source of not Well-being. There is not a source of sickness. There is just the dis-allowance of wellness.

We all know we need to exercise. Don't make a chore. Delight in taking a walk, riding a bike, stretching for 10-20 minutes. It will give you more energy and we all want more of that. You don't know how good you can feel and you deserve to feel great!

Meditate. It doesn't have to be long. It only takes 5-10 minutes to calm yourself, clear your mind, and rejuvenate your energy.

It's about energy, physical energy, emotional energy, and spiritual energy. 

The definition of balance is all things considered. It's not just what you eat but how you think and what you feel. I never want anyone to every fell the way I did. You can heal yourselves, it's never too late. Manifest positive thoughts.

Set goals. Make them small at first then graduate. My first goal in 2001 was to go a day without throwing up. It took three days but what a feeling of accomplishment. Now my goal is to be one of the most proficient healers mankind has ever known and to draw out all the healers so we may teach and learn from each other. Remember, nothing is impossible.

Keep a positive attitude and participate in Life. Help out a neighbor, call a friend, send a card, be a mentor, When you do something nice for someone, they, in turn, are more likely to do something nice. Hence the circle, it can continue on indefinitely, bringing happiness and good will to everyone concerned. Generosity even on the smallest scale has far-reaching effects. Rely on and trust each other again. 

We are from all walks of life. We all want to be good human beings and strive for peace in this world. What would that feel like? Emotion is the highest vibration; if you can feel it you can achieve it. Nothing is impossible. Only you set your own limits. Strive for Balance in your life. Find the answers for you and listen to your intuition. If you take one step forward every day and be here, now, you will reach your goals and ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Shaman Melodie McBride June 2007